the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
