i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize