Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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