My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
