Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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