If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
