if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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