wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
