Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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