ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
