Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
