i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
