Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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