the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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