Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize