She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
