I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
