Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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