Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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