Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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