you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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