my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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