No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
