help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
