You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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