so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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