He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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