I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
