He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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