youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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