do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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