There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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