is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also, beer. Big fan.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
