i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
