In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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