There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
