Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
