i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
