So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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