true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
