why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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