I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
