ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize