Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize