ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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