Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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