There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
