I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
