I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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