everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
