so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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