Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
