Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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