Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
