I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The feeling are messing with the penis
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
