bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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