how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
