my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
