i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am one with the molecules
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
