if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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