I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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