So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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