Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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