i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
