Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
