My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
