Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
