We're facebook friends in real life
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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