Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
